Booking an appointment with a counsellor can be a scary step. Often, going to counselling is associated with mental illness. While this is true, counselling can also help with other issues, such as relationship issues, grief, or work-related stress.
Counselling can take place individually, with a couple, family, or in a group setting. The key to success with all counsellors is to choose a counsellor that is right for you. Counselling requires honesty and intimacy, and as such, requires you to feel comfortable with the person you are speaking with. You must connect and build a therapeutic alliance, and you should be happy with your sessions for them to work effectively.
Here, we take a look at some of the things a counsellor can help you achieve.
A Stronger Sense of Self
If you struggle with self-doubt or anxiety, it might be hard for you to let go of what others think of you for long enough to think about what you want and need. When you stop to think about what you want, you might struggle to find your own answers and then end up feeling panicky and lost. While everyone experiences this at times, if you are regularly feeling this way, it might indicate that you need to put some time aside for yourself and talk to a professional.
A counsellor can help you work through why you have a poor sense of self and the effect that it is having on all your relationships. Even just having this space to talk about what you desire can be hugely beneficial. Hopefully, after your sessions, you feel better equipped to go into the world knowing the direction you want to take and make decisions accordingly, rather than being molded by what others want from you.
Honesty in Your Relationships
It can be challenging to be honest in relationships because it’s likely that you are worried about hurting the other person’s feelings. However, communication is key to a successful and healthy relationship.
Working with a counsellor can help you get out any frustration you’re feeling and think through how you can talk to your partner calmly, thoughtfully, and rationally. It can help you articulate what you are feeling and notice how you might play a part in your relationship issues. Counselling also enables you to work through the problem, take responsibility for your actions, and see both sides of the story.
Some counselors specialize in relationship therapy and offer couple’s sessions, where you and your partner will have equal opportunity to discuss your feelings and thoughts while being guided by a professional. These sessions are likely to be solution-focused, with 93% of couples surveyed by the American Association of Marriage and Family therapy reporting that couples counselling gave them effective tools for dealing with conflict. It can help to have difficult discussions with a counsellor to keep the atmosphere productive, while in a neutral and nurturing space.
Acceptance of a Difficult Life Event
Inevitably, we will all experience life events that are challenging. Even though challenges come at different levels and intensity, what matters most is how the person perceives the problem.
Examples of events that a counsellor can help you process include bereavement, job loss, fertility problems, and recovering from being unwell with an illness, among other things. Needing some space to talk about how these experiences impacted you is normal, and counselling can help you work towards acceptance or not letting these events control the rest of your life.
Summary
Seeing a counsellor is not just for those with a mental illness. Counselling is a neutral space for you to work through anything bothering you or holding you back from the life you want without fear of judgment. Counselling can be an excellent opportunity to be open about how you feel and see things; therefore, it is essential to find a counsellor that you can trust to support you.
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Talk soon,
Dr. Ilene
