Why Is Forgiveness Important?
If you were lied to, verbally attacked, abused, cheated on, or some other such form of drastic betrayal, it is completely natural to be angry and upset. However, those residual emotions can affect your relationships and other parts of your life. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people, and that is how patterns of abuse and pain get passed on from generation to generation. Taking these patterns into account, forgiveness is not just important, but vital.
Furthermore, anger, takes up a lot of energy that could be more usefully put to work in other areas of our lives. When we hold onto anger, we give our offenders control over our thoughts and emotions. Even though the past is long gone, we remain there until we’re able to forgive and let go. As a result, forgiveness not only helps us reclaim our sense of power, it helps us move our lives forward.
Why Does Forgiveness Matter?
Forgiveness helps us calm down and provides us with new perspective, clarity, and objectivity. For example, think of a time when you were very angry about something. Was it hard to be objective and transparent? Did you largely blame the other person or exaggerate the events to justify your reactions?
When we’re upset, our judgement tends to become clouded or inaccurate. This is not to say that you don’t have any right to your feelings, you certainly do. However, by forgiving yourself and the other party, you can make sure that your perception of the situation is more balanced. Cultivating forgiveness will allow you to clear your mind and view the problem from a more objective position.
In addition, finding a way to forgive will allow you to become a more compassionate person. Most people have demons, triggers, and issues they are dealing with and don’t mean to hurt others intentionally. While that doesn’t make their actions okay, when you’re able to see people in their own context, you’re better able to understand their reasoning and you can take their offenses less personally.
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Talk soon,
Dr. Ilene
